If there’s one Bible verse that has confused Christian women, it would have to be Ephesians 5:22. Why would wives be told to submit to their husbands when we are all equal in Christ? This sermon delves into this difficult passage of Scripture and finds 6 takeaways that empower women and men. (1)
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Have you ever felt like you were in over your head? Like you had got yourself into something that was beyond you, but you couldn’t back out? I see a few nods. And I like them. Because you people know how I feel right now. 😊
When Pastor Kara asked me if I would preach on International Women’s Day weekend, I have to admit I hesitated there and then. Never before had I preached about “God and Women,” and there was a reason.
When I finished High School and started my degree in Theology, there were no paid female pastors in the Adventist church in Australia. As someone who did not want to create conflict in the church, I thought the best thing I could do was keep quiet. I never wanted to be offensive. Neither did I feel the need to be defensive.
The more I thought about Pr Kara’s invitation, though, the more I realised this was no longer about me. This was now an opportunity for me to empower others, and I wanted to do that. I wanted to show the women of this church that men and women are equally valued by God. I wanted to encourage them to live out their giftings.
And how did I think I would do that? Well, I had a great idea. 😊 Pastor Kara had been preaching a series on the book of Ephesians. Those of us who attend mid-week Bible study have been studying Ephesians. I thought I could just build a case on what we’ve all been learning, and conclude that because Paul told the Ephesian wives to submit to their husbands within the context of the whole Ephesian church being told to submit to one another, all the church, male and female, must therefore have been considered equal with one another! (Ephesians 5:21-22)
Despite what some scholars might try to tell you, I learnt it wasn’t that easy. Sure, I could try to appeal to context to prove the value of women from Ephesians, but this wasn’t the context in which wives were told to submit to their husbands in Colossians. (Colossians 3:18) Neither was this the context in which wives were told to submit to their husbands in 1 Peter. (1 Peter 3:1) I would need another argument.
I know, I thought. I could argue that hypotasso, the Greek verb translated as “submit” in English, is based on the word tasso. Given that the word tasso means “to arrange” or “to arrange in an orderly manner,” I could conclude that the reason first-century wives were told to submit to their husbands was so their families could function in an “orderly manner.” (2)
Yes, I still think there’s some truth in that. But what I realised was that this wasn’t going to prove men and women were considered equal either. When I broadened my search of the verb hypotasso, what did I find? Children submitting to parents, slaves submitting to masters, citizens submitting to governments . . . Although hypotasso does imply order, it does not necessarily imply social equality. (3)
Ah, I’ve got it, I “gleed.” Getting even nerdier with the Greek (and bear with me for a minute!), I thought that if Paul had written the verb hypotasso in the passive voice and not the imperative mood, that would at least prove the Ephesian wives had had a choice to submit to their husbands, and if the wives had voluntarily submitted to their husbands, well, with a bit of a push, we could still conclude wives were considered equal with their husbands.
Again, that worked in Ephesians, but it wasn’t a home run in Colossians. Although hypotasso was written in the passive voice in Colossians 3, it was written in the imperative mood. And by writing in the imperative mood, Paul was indicating that he was commanding, yes, commanding the Colossian wives to submit to their husbands. Furthermore, he added, “as is fitting in the Lord.” (Colossians 3:18)
Having no more grammatical tricks up my sleeve but not willing to give up, I decided to seek help with the historical context. If the Paul who told the Ephesian wives to submit to their husbands was the same Paul who told the Galatians that in Christ Jesus, there is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, then maybe, just maybe, there was something in the historical context that would help me prove that men and women were equally valued by God. (Galatians 3:28)
So I bought a book. Well actually, I bought two books. The first was titled God and Women: Women in God’s Image and Likeness. This book provided some of the most beautiful insights into the Hebrew language, and with that, the Creation story. The author of this book affirmed over and over what Paul could have / would have known – that is, that God created men and women equal. (Genesis 1:27) (4)
Given that I also wanted help with the Ephesian context, however, I bought the second book which was based on a recent dissertation. This book provided some incredible insights into Greco-Roman culture, but it didn’t solve my problem. Just like husbands and wives were not regarded as equals in first-century Ephesus, the author concluded, “early Christian writings do not treat the married couple as complete equals.” (5) Argh.
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Friends, the reason I share my challenging “Ephesians 5” journey with you this morning is to illustrate why the topic of “God and women” has been and continues to be debated in the Christian church. This issue is so deep and so complex and unfortunately so divisive that I fear it won’t be going away anytime soon.
So why don’t we give up? Why don’t we let go of trying to make sense of it? Why don’t we just believe what we want to believe? Why don’t we ignore the parts of Scripture that we don’t like or understand, and pick and choose our own adventure?
I’ll tell you why I don’t . . . why I didn’t give up on Ephesians 5. Because I believed there had to be something in there that affirms that women were created in the image of God. I believed there had to be something in there that reflects the way women were treated by the Son of God. I believed there had to be something in there that would leave the women of this church with no doubt that they are oh so valued by God. And if anyone should ever challenge you on these beliefs, I wanted to resource you with some ways to respond.
On that note, let’s open our Bibles. Thus far, I’ve shared with you some possible evidence of inequality in Ephesians 5. Now we’re going to look for possible evidence of equality.
Ephesians 5:22-33. I will be reading from the New International Version, and I need to warn you that I’ll be skipping a few verses. Paul could get excited when he was talking about Jesus, and he sometimes got side-tracked, so we’re going to try to keep things on point. 😊
Ephesians 5, starting at verse 22:
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her . . .
28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”
33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Okay. Did anyone see any . . . hear any possible evidence for men and women being equally valued in this passage? If so, how many examples did you find? I’m going to share just six examples with you this morning, and we’re going to start at the top.
1. Not gender but relationship
Verse 22:
“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.”
“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.” Tell me, single women, did you feel a bit left out as I was reading this verse? If so, that’s probably because it wasn’t written for you. Paul’s concern here, as I believe it was elsewhere, was not gender but relationship.
Yes, I know that most Bibles say “women” should keep silent in the churches and that Paul didn’t permit “women” to teach “men.” But did you know that the words translated as “men” and “women” in those passages are the same words translated as “husbands” and “wives” here? And did you know that the only way we can correctly translate those words is with a correct understanding of the context? (1 Corinthians 14:34-35, 1 Timothy 2:11-12)
Now just because this passage wasn’t written for you, single friends, doesn’t mean it has no relevance for you . . . especially since I’m using it to illustrate a woman’s value. What it can do, however, is create questions for my married friends, but I think we can explain them.
2. Not value but order
Verse 23:
“For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church.”
I know; some of you are again wondering why I’m using this verse as an example of equality, not inequality, 😊 but I want to assure you that we needn’t assume the latter. Just like Paul said the husband is the head of the wife, he said elsewhere that God is the head of Christ. (1 Corinthians 11:3) And just like God cannot be of more value than Christ, the husband needn’t be of more value than the wife. Are you with me?
I think the real question here is what does “order” look like today, and I wish we had time for that discussion. Something I want to make clear before we move on, however, is that although Paul did tell the Ephesian wives to “submit” to their husbands, he never ever – hear me: would never ever tell their husbands to force them. And why am I so sure? It’s in the literal translation of verse 33:
“Each one of you (husbands) must love his wife as himself in order that the wife might respect her husband.”
According to Paul, what made a wife respect her husband was not force but love. Onto example #3 . . .
3. Not part but all
Verse 24:
“Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”
“In everything.” Believe it or not, these two words are my third example of equality in this passage. Not sure how wives submitting to their husbands in everything could possibly be met with equality? Meet the Greek word paradidomi. (Ephesians 5:25) This is the word Paul used to describe what Christ did for the church, and it’s what he told the Ephesian husbands to do for their wives.
Paradidomi means “to give into the hands (of another)”; to surrender, to yield. (6) It required a husband to be so selfless that he could literally have to give up his life for his wife. Think Paul expected a lot of the Ephesian wives? Spare a thought for their husbands. Paul considered these women to be so valuable that he told their men to be prepared to die for them . . . which brings us to my next example.
4. Not eros but agape
Verse 25:
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church.”
Upon first hearing, this example may sound like the last one, but again, I want to spell out what Paul was not saying. Given that this was first-century Ephesus, and given that Paul was writing to Gentiles, and given that he was speaking to husbands, one could have assumed he’d be speaking about eros – the romantic, sensual love a couple has for one another.
But no, Paul was speaking about agape here, which you probably know is what Christ has for us. “Just like you are given unconditional love from God,” Paul was saying, “I want you to give this to your wife. This won’t be the kind of love where you’ll always get what you want. It will be the kind of love where she’ll get what she needs. Ultimately though, you will both be blessed.” Why? The answer’s in example #5.
5. Not two but one
Verse 28:
“In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.”
You may have already grasped this concept years ago, but I didn’t truly get it until this study. What I now think Paul was saying here is that when a man leaves his father and mother, as it says in Genesis 2:24, and joins with his wife, and the two become one flesh, it becomes spiritually impossible for them to be inferior or superior to the other. Spiritually impossible for the husband or wife to be of more value than the other.
Whatever a husband or wife thinks about their spouse, they think about themselves. However a husband or wife treats their spouse, they treat themselves. Why? Because they are one. Want to be loved? Love your wife. Want to be respected? Respect your husband. And just like a husband’s love can lead to a wife’s respect, 1 Peter 3:1 implies a wife’s respect can lead to a husband’s love.
Last but not least . . .
6. Not less than but equal
Verse 33:
“However, each one of you (husbands) also must love his wife as he loves himself.”
I don’t know if anyone else sees or hears an allusion to the great commandments here. (Mark 12:30-31) If you do, this example may speak for itself . . . especially since it speaks directly to gender equality. What I wanted to add, however, was the significance of loving someone else as yourself for Paul.
When Paul wrote about the second great commandment to the Romans, he said this was what summed up all the commandments. (Romans 13:9) Similarly, when he wrote about this commandment to the Galatians, he said the whole Law was fulfilled in this one statement . . . (Galatians 5:14)
Somehow, loving one’s neighbour as oneself, for Paul, was the fulfillment of all the Law. Somehow loving one’s wife as oneself was the fulfillment of all the Law. Somehow believing men and women are equally valued by God is the fulfillment of all the Law!
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Friends, what I have very humbly tried to do this morning is show you from one of the most difficult passages of Scripture that our God does not discriminate. What I hope you read between the lines, however, is not only that you – the men and women, boys and girls of this church, are all of equal value in Jesus, but that you are so loved by Jesus.
This passage, Ephesians 5:22-33, reflects the whole of Ephesians when it speaks of a love so wide, so long, so high and so deep, that Christ,
“though he was in the form of God, did not regard equality with God as something to be exploited, but emptied himself, taking the form of a slave . . . And being found in human form, he humbled himself and became obedient to the point of death—even death on a cross.” (NRSV, Philippians 2:5-8)
This love is the same love that Christ has given us to give to others, and although Paul was speaking to husbands and wives in this passage, I hope it has inspired the single men and women to also love others as themselves.
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You probably know the Parable of the Good Samaritan. How a lawyer came to Jesus to put Him to the test, saying, “Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?”
Jesus said to that lawyer, “What is written in the Law? How does it read to you?” And the lawyer answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind; and your neighbour as yourself.” And Jesus said to him, “You have answered correctly; do this, and you will live.” But wanting to justify himself, the lawyer said to Jesus, “And who is my neighbour?”
Jesus replied to the lawyer, “A woman was chosen by God and gifted to be light in her world, but she encountered men who only saw value in men, and they left her feeling dead. And by chance, a president of a company met her, and when he heard her story, he ignored it. Likewise, a secretary also, when he heard her story, he ignored it.
But a member of the company, when he heard her story, he felt compassion, and he prayed with her and brought her to his church, and they took care of her. This church invested deeply in the woman and gave her relevant opportunities. With time her light shone brighter and brighter until her world also shone as her Father had designed.
“Which of these three do you think proved to be a neighbour to the woman?” Jesus asked. And the lawyer answered, “The one who empowered her.” Then Jesus said to him, “Go and do the same.” (7)
Notes
(1) This sermon was preached at Oasis Christian Center, Vancouver, Washington.
(2) https://www.blueletterbible.org/lang/lexicon/lexicon.cfm?strongs=G5021&t=NASB95
(3) https://www.blueletterbible.org/lang/lexicon/lexicon.cfm?Strongs=G5293&t=NASB95
(4) Garr, John D. God and Women: Woman in God’s Image and Likeness. Atlanta, GA: Golden Key Press, 2011.
(5) Elif Halal Karaman, Ephesian Women in Greco-Roman and Early Christian Perspective. (Tübingen, Germany: Mohr Siebeck, 2018) 63, 172.
(6) https://www.blueletterbible.org/lang/lexicon/lexicon.cfm?Strongs=G3860&t=NASB95
(7) This illustration is based on the Parable of the Good Samaritan as recorded in Luke 10:25-37.